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Glastonbury 2008

From Us, With Love

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Good old Dickens would have loved this epic adventure but Alderson was born just in time. Thank mercy, then, that Master Eavis was momentarily blinded by a flying spalsh of pig swill when Alderson scaled the fence to steal himself in. Otherwise he wouldn't have sacrificed his own hygiene to bring you this eyes-only festival report. Rumour has it, he lived off dry-shampoo, lost a tooth, didn't wash for 2 weeks and hopped back to London on one foot while committing this review to memory in his spaced-out weary head just for you...Now that's lurve.

Friday saw things come together, Saturday saw things unhinge and disassemble but Sunday brought everything back together again for a glorious finale.

Santogold granted wishes the second time here at the Park. Every song sang out markedly different - setting the right tone for getting us through swift downpours with cheeky smiles, winks and double-takes.

Operator Please! were another hit on the Park stage and lived up to their recent superb album. A tight outfit sounds like they mean to go far but they blew a great chance here by copping out of finishing the set with "Pantomime" – by far the best song they've written yet and one that would have mindfucked newcomers and casual listeners enough to be hooked on the ride irretrievably.

Most impressive was the Duke Spirit – which comes as some surprise actually. We’ve always known Leyla Moss looks cool and has a distinctive voice, but these days her confidence is evidently a mile above where it was even a few months ago. To nail it deeper, the Kills’ set was strangely lacklustre when set against the Duke's. Meow.

MGMT are well worthy of the stage and bring a packed audience to raptures with an (often) Pink Floyd-reminiscent flow – culminating with a sing-along "Take Only What You Need From Me" that lasts as a choral hum long after the band have walked off stage.

Seasick Steve was perfect - even when whittling down to a single string. Even when he terms the offending instrument a "piece of shit" in his perfectly weighted stories.

Holy Fuck managed to keep momentum riding over at John Peel. They do here exactly what Operator Please fell short of on Friday – they grab the festival by the balls and play for all they’re worth. Unholyfuckingbelievable.

The rest of the afternoon whirls into sun-baked chaos with not too much in the way of band watching. There's too much fun to be had running wild and free, this way and that, making random encounters, finding people, losing people, diving into the Hare Krishna tent for your shot of food and philosophy, seeming to teleport from the Cider Bus to the Stone Circle and back again in a heart beat, from the Park to Shangri La.

The day rounds off with some excellent bands, though. Hot Chip grace the Other Stage; followed by Massive Attack. CSS lift the Park.

The line-up culminates in a three-pronged tour de force. Goldfrapp doesn't have time or resources to render this the full 'frapp experience, but makes up for it with a costume of flowing ribbons and dancers wearing very little…

Leonard Cohen doesn’t need ribbons or skimpy underwear. 15 years experience prove he can still live up to everything he’s billed to be and more. Ending with 'Hallelujah!', it’s an iconic moment, like catching Arthur Lee or Brian Wilson.

Cohen owns the stage with calm from the moment he glides on; All the major songs are brought out and used to devastating effect – "Marianne", "A Bird on a Wire" and of course "Suzanne". Wow.

Can Richard Ashcroft can get the Verve to follow that? Captain Rock surely can. It's the iconic anthems that deliver the damage – and they're all present: "Sonnet", "Drugs Don't Work", "History", "Bittersweet Symphony" and "Lucky Man". Ashcroft's voice is clear and devastating, his command of the stage a lesson to all pretenders. The Eavis family's seats in heaven are assured for another year.

Boy [Dress in Zoro Mask and Cape]: They don't call me Jackie Chan for nothing. [Suddenly somersaults through the air, kicking a girl in the shin and landing on his arse.]
Girl1: Oh my god, are you okay?
Girl2: Um. Yeah…I think so. It hurts but I'm not bleeding.
Girl1: Jesus. What were you thinking, you maddo?
Boy: [Sighs] It's hard being Jackie Chan…

Boy [surfing Stone Circle rock]: Benefits for the frail! Benefits for the frail!
[Sub-text: Anyone got any drugs please?]

Darth Vader [heavy breathing]: Darth Vadar. Ruler of the Universe!
Girls [baffled, walking quickly away]: What the…? Did that really just happen?