IF YOU WERE BORN AFTER 1995…

You’d probably be saying, “Walt Disney, who!?” and the same applied to Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Anderson and many other fairy tale makers. Disney isn’t dying but it has grown a little too big, too indefinable for kids – and adults, too? Many TV and cinema junkies would never quite imagine it took just a black mouse with big round ears, oversized white gloves and a pair of red pants to enthrall zillions. Nowadays, Disney 2D cartoons have become so outmoded and un-cool, and what is a “Disney cartoon”? Does Shrek count? Does Toy Story count? Does Wall E count? Not exactly, they are Pixar’s, one of many Disney grand(brain)child companies.

So, what’s a Disney cartoon? It’s Tangled (2010). A retouch on centuries-old Rapunzel and the could-be attempt to whiten Disney carton – with a frustrated Barbie blonde locked inside a rather erect, phallic castle and using her untrimmed pube, sorry, hair to tie hunks up – after the breakthrough introduction of a black princess fated to marry a frog. Discerning viewers were left to wonder, weren’t it for Barack and Michael, whether this cartoon would ever have been materialised? And, don’t forget Disney even released half-human, half-animated Enchanted to parody its ever after.

IF YOU WERE BORN BETWEEN 1985 AND 1994…

Yes, you were, indeed, very lucky. If there was a time for the Second Coming for Walt Disney, this was probably it. By the time you turned ten, you would have accumulated the best Disney experience – crabby Sebastian from The Little Mermaid, talking set of teapot and cups from Beauty and the Beast, happy-go-lucky singing warthog and meercat from The Lion King, and many more. Not to mention the Disney songs that got nominated for the Oscar every year, the tradition interrupted by the meretricious tragedy of Rose and Jack, also known as Titanic. Luckily, once you entered adolescence and began to lose interest, Disney was made to look “Meh!” by the new, exciting 3D thing called Pixar.

IF YOU WERE BORN BETWEEN 1950 AND 1984…

You were born at the same time and probably had shared cradles with Alice, Cinderella and Peter. You turned teenagers with the horrific headlines of Ms Cruella and the dotted near-tragedy and befriended Winnie the Pooh and folks. That said, there are a few Disney nonentities you might be familiar with but go totally unheard off when you recount your 2D childhood extravaganza to your nieces and nephews.

IF YOU WERE BORN – BLIMEY! – BEFORE 1950…

Wow! You do have a long, enviable life and have walked with stars – Snow White, Pinocchio, Dumbo, Bambi. You had seen mice, ducks and dogs beat big boobs and muscled jocks in the decade-long on-screen popularity contest. (We were talking Betty Boop and Popeye). Also, you would probably know that Disney’s first instant success was not Mickey but Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, who was, strangely enough, black, with big ears, white gloves and a pair of green shorts. Mr Walt lost his rabbit and the legal rights attached to him due to complicated business matter. Never mind. Disney picked up its pace with Micky Mouse, Donald Duck and the subsequent release of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in 1937. Yes, Miss White was THAT old! And, we can tell you’ll be uber delighted to find the extremely rare, post-War Disney package films, such as Make Mine Music (1946), Fan and Fancy Free (1947) and Melody Time (1948) re-screened at BFI!

Alas, the old Disney days and all the fans who have aged as well as those films! Love it or loath it, Disney is still Disney and it relishes a bit of memory in us. The trick, perhaps, is to ignore its rampant commercialisation and commodification, say Tarzan the Musical, the already approved Disneyland blueprint in Shanghai, or even the rumour that Disney animations have recently been farmed out in North Korea, but apart from this, we are still enchanted by Disney. Aren’t we?